Smile to Look Better and Live Longer

Smile to Look Better and Live Longer

Debbie Lyn Toomey, RN
Author of The Happiness Result

Smile!

Smiling is my favorite yoga pose. It makes me feel better and puts a smile on others’ faces, too.

It’s a natural mind-body and body-mind happiness booster. When you’re happy, you typically smile and your whole body responds by releasing a cascade of feel-good hormones. What’s also interesting is that even when you are not happy, and you smile, you can trick you brain into thinking that you’re happy, and will start releasing the same feel-good hormones as if you were truly happy. That is why smiling is both a mind-body and a body-mind technique that we can use to add more positivity into our daily life.

Smiling, as you may know, is contagious and conveys so many nice feelings to others who are lucky enough to see it. The words to an old song said it all. “When you’re smiling, when you’re smiling, the whole world smiles with you.” There is research on smiling that has revealed many interesting bits of information that will surely make you do it more often.

Here are five simple facts about smiling that can help you look better and live longer.

  1. Smiling boosts your mood and increases your sense of well-being. Dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins get released and make you feel very good. Next time you want to feel better, smile. This action will trick your brain into thinking that you feel happy and it, in turn, will start releasing feel-good hormones to match it.
  2. Smiling makes you look younger. People who smile are perceived as looking years younger than those with a frown on their face. If you ever want to look younger than your age, smile more.
  3. Smiling makes you look thinner. People who are frowning are also perceived as looking heavier than those who are smiling. Smiling seems to portray people as healthier and thinner. If you want to look slimmer, be sure to smile more.
  4. Smiling can predict your life span. Researchers studied old baseball cards. It was found that baseball players who had big smiles on their face lived longer than those who did not have big smiles on the pictures. Professional players who had beaming smiles lived approximately seven years longer than their counterparts.
  5. Smiling makes you look friendly and kind. Experts determined that people who smiled were perceived as being better natured than those who didn’t. People who did not smile were thought of as being unwelcoming.

These are just a few fun facts about smiling that I hope will brighten your day. Next time you want to feel happier, look younger and thinner, and appear friendlier, flash your pearly whites. Because if you do, you might just live longer. Smiling can make someone’s day, too. If you are around people who are stressed and overworked, try giving a nice warm smile to show your support and concern. It’s a gift that keeps on giving. Best of all, it’s free! Who knows, your smile could just be the best thing that could happen to them that day. To learn more about how we can work together visit www.HealthandHappinessSpecialist.com.

Seven Mindful Ways to Add More Love & Kindness into Your Life

Seven Mindful Ways to Add More 
Love & Kindness into Your Life

By Debbie Lyn Toomey, RN, author of 
The Happiness Result

 

Happy February!

Did you know that this month is not only a month for celebrating Valentine’s Day but also for performing a Random Act of Kindness?

In the spirit of love and kindness this month, I want to share with you some wise words of wisdom that were given to me by my mindfulness muse during a meditation. I suggest that you read it a couple of times and think about the phrases that speak to you. Once you are done reading, pick a phrase, and play with it for a day. Be creative and have fun with it.  As you practice one of the mindfulness techniques, notice how it makes you feel. If you like what you have chosen, repeat it for another day or two.  When you feel ready to try another one, read over these Words of Wisdom again and repeat the same process. Here are seven mindful ways to add more love and kindness into your life.

Words of Wisdom

By Debbie’s Mindfulness Muse 

Breathe and… 

Watch your words

Breathe and…

Listen to your gut 

Breathe and…

Question your mind 

Breathe and…

Speak from the heart 

Breathe and… 

Turn up your lips 

Breathe and… 

Extend your hand 

Breathe and… 

Move your feet

This month, I encourage you to give it a go and tune into how much more love and kindness it brings into your day. There is such depth in these seven phrases that each one of them can become a month-long mindfulness practice in itself. Here is what they mean.

1. Watch your words – Think about what you are going to say before you say it. Use your mental filter to avoid hurting someone’s feelings and regretting what you have said.

2. Listen to your gut – Tune into your gut instinct and intuition. They are the radars that keep you informed about everything and everyone.

3. Question your mind – Just as your gut tells you the truth, your mind can play games with you. Ask your mind what is really, really, really so. You are not your thoughts.

4. Speak from the heart – When you speak, allow it to be heartfelt. Words that come from the heart, speak volumes about your intentions.

5. Turn up your lips – Smile – period – Smiling can brighten everyone’s day. Smiling is very appealing and attractive too.

6. Extend your hand – Help others. One of the best ways to make yourself and others feel better is by doing a kind deed.

7. Move your feet – One of the best ways to decrease stress and improve your health is by being active. Call a friend or family member and ask them to go for a walk with you.

I hope you enjoyed the Words of Wisdom from my mindfulness muse. I certainly do. To learn more about ways to gain more love in your life, get my book, The Happiness Result. I created my book for today’s busy people to help them pick and choose seven simple techniques to create an awesome life. Go to www.TheHappinessResult.com to get your copy.

Much love and gratitude,

Debbie

Top Five 2018 Tips for Healthy and Happy Holidays

Top Five 2018 Tips for Healthy and Happy Holidays
by Debbie Lyn Toomey RN, Author of The Happiness Result


I love the holidays, don’t you?

Have you started your holiday shopping yet? I have. I started last August.

Why?

Why not. (smile)

I am a planner and love to stay on top of my holiday shopping so that I don’t feel pressured to do it at the last minute. I hate feeling overwhelmed by doing something that I love. There’s no fun in that at all. Just in case you are starting to feel panicky that the holidays are around the corner, don’t worry. I got your back! I have taken regifting into a whole new level by giving you the top five 2018 tips that I sent you this year. I hope that this small package of practical tools can help you have a healthier and happier holiday season.

Drum roll, please…

Starting from the bottom. Here they are.

Tip # 5 Self-Compassion (April, 2018) – Give yourself kindness, love, and compassion this holiday season. If you had goals that you did not reach this year, give yourself a break and allow them to be goals for 2019. Instead of reflecting on what you didn’t achieve this year, think about the goals that you did reach. Give yourself a pat on the back and a hug for all that you have achieved this year.

Tip # 4 List (May, 2018) – The best way to have a successful day is by planning ahead. Creating a wish list of things-to-do can become overwhelming. Once you have allowed yourself to go crazy writing down your items. Look at them again and ask yourself which ones you will really do that day. Asking yourself this powerful question is a game-changer. You’ll be happy to see your list go from daunting to doable.

Tip # 3 “I Get to” vs. “I Have to” (March, 2018) – It’s amazing how quickly our attitude and experience changes when we switch inner talk from “I have to” to “I get to”. This simple and strategic change can help you do something that you didn’t feel like doing to doing it with more gusto.

Tip # 2 Gratitude (June, 2018) – One of the quickest ways to boost your happiness is through gratitude. Gratitude can help you clear the holiday blues by thinking about all that you have such as, clothes on your back, a friend to talk to, or food in your fridge. If you can’t think of what to be grateful for, then you are not looking hard enough.

Tip # 1 Contentment (October, 2018) – If you don’t feel like striving for a holly jolly holiday this year, don’t worry. Try going for contentment instead. There is great peace, grace, and blessings when you are feeling content. Think of activities, people, places, and food that can bring about contentment for yourself. Try doing something different for yourself every week and notice how you feel.

I hope you enjoyed these regifting tips. I know I will. They’re fantastic reminders for anyone who can get caught up in hustle and bustle of the season. If you find a practice that you like, continue it for 30 days. That way you can ring in the new year on healthier and happier note.

C’mon, Get Happy

If you need coaching to help you reach more goals, contact me at info@HealthandHappinessSpecialist.com. If you are looking for a book that can bring about many happiness results, get a copy of my book, The Happiness Result – More time, More health, More love, More success. Go to www.TheHappinessResult.com to purchase your copy today.

Happy Holidays to you and yours!

Much love,

A Gratitude Visit

A Gratitude Visit
By Debbie Lyn Toomey RN, Mindfulness Educator
Author of The Happiness Result

Don’t you just love getting snail mails from people you care about?

I do.

It makes me so happy!

Here’s a no-cost way to make this Thanksgiving a truly happy one for you and someone special in your life. It’s a gratitude practice that not too many people know about. It’s called a “gratitude visit”.

The Visit

Gratitude is more than saying thanks. According to the study by Martin Seligman, past president of the American Psychological Association, a gratitude visit is a moving way to express your deep appreciation and gratitude to someone who has made a big difference in your life. The gratitude letter gives you a chance to write down the positive feelings that you have always wanted to share with a person. When you are done writing this heart-felt letter, personally deliver it and read it out loud. Taking the time to write, deliver, and read your gratitude letter has been proven by Seligman’s research to have positive results for many months.

Here’s How

Both you and the receiver will benefit greatly from this unique and powerful exercise. Here’s how you can get started in your very own gratitude visit during this holiday season.

1. Think of someone that positively influenced you in your life.

2. On a piece of paper, write down how grateful you are about having him or her in your life. Write down what you’ve always wanted to say to that person.

3. Continue by writing down what has happened.

4. Write down as much as you can.

5. Don’t worry about grammar or punctuation.

6. Notice how you feel after writing the letter.

7. Call the person and let him or her know that you want to stop by.

8. Deliver the gratitude letter in person.

9. Read the whole letter slowly to that special someone.

10. As you are reading, pay attention to the reaction of the receiver.

11. Notice how you feel afterwards.

12. Pay attention to your level of positivity in the coming weeks because of the gratitude visit.

I encourage you to try this exercise during this holiday season. Do as many as you can. As my positive psychology professor, Tal Ben-Shahar, used to say, “when you appreciate the good, the good appreciates.”

Contact Me

If you need coaching support in how to add more happiness and gratitude into your life, contact me for at info@HealthandHappinessSpecialist.com. Also, if you are looking for ways to live your best life, be sure to visit my website www.TheHappinessResult.com to get a copy of my book The Happiness Result – More time, More health, More love, More success. You’ll be happy you did.

Gratitude, a Gift that Keeps on Giving

Gratitude, a Gift that Keeps on Giving

Debbie Lyn Toomey, RN

Author of The Happiness Result

Happy November!

I was recently one of the keynote speakers for the Vermont Reiki Association. I had a fantastic time. The people at the conference were all so wonderful and I got to talk about my favorite topics.  In my keynote, I discussed how positive psychology and character strengths made me happier and how they enhanced my Reiki self-practice. Later on, in the breakout session, I shared with the attendees how my top strength, gratitude, helped me cope with stress and how it deepened my relationship with my family. Gratitude is such a powerful practice. It’s like a gift that keeps on giving.

Gratitude

What is gratitude? Robert Emmons, considered the father of the science of gratitude, defines it as “a felt sense of wonder, thankfulness, and appreciation for life.” In other words, it’s more than just saying thanks. Many studies have proven that gratitude can help with physical and mental health, increase self-esteem, and improve sleep.

Grace

I have experienced that the grace of gratitude can fill you up with a rich blend of positive emotions. What’s amazing about that is that not only does it make you feel good, it makes others feel good, too. How? Well, when you are in the state of gratitude, a warm and heartfelt feeling of appreciation bubbles up inside you making it easier to do kind deeds for others. The “just because” nice gestures happen naturally, making you happier and more social.

Gift

The precious gift of gratitude and all it has to offer makes it an inviting practice to do. Now that we are about to enter the holiday season of Thanksgiving, I challenge you to find as many things to be grateful for. Here’s how you can start a simple gratitude practice, one that is a gift that keeps on giving.

  1. At the end of the day, think of 3 good things that you were grateful for.
  2. Write them down in a notebook or a journal.
  3. Explain why you were grateful for each of them.
  4. Notice how you feel after you are done writing.
  5. Pay attention how your practice benefits others around you.
  6. Try this for 30 days and be prepared to receive all the blessings that come with this special practice.

While anytime is a good time to start this life changing habit, this month of Thanksgiving is a perfect one. Try it today and see how much happier you are just because you started a gratitude practice.

Contact

If you need more support and coaching on how to live your best life, contact me at debbielyn@healthandhappinessspecialist.com today. To get more ideas on how to boost your level of happiness, get a copy of my book, The Happiness Result. This book is the perfect holiday gift for anyone you care about. Visit www.TheHappinessResult.com today.

Authenticity: A Simple Way to Boost Happiness

Authenticity: A Simple Way to Boost Happiness

By Debbie Lyn Toomey RN

Author of The Happiness Result

Last Saturday was a typical bone chilling and drizzly October day in New England. My family and I committed to attend a friend’s surprise 40th birthday party. Unfortunately, instead of the party being indoors, it was held outdoors in a medieval attraction park. Surprisingly, the parking lot was filled with cars. Coming out of some of them were kings, princesses, and fairies who traveled far and wide. As we entered the park, the gloomy day quickly turned in to a great one. I saw people proudly walking around dressed as their fantasy characters. Although they were in a costume, their real selves shined through. It was as if their make-believe outfits allowed them to embrace their authenticity.

Free to Express

It was a magical wooded scene. Everyone was having fun and freely expressing themselves as their favorite medieval persona. The shops were bustling with both first timers wanting to find the perfect piece to wear and old timers looking for yet another article to add on to their already elaborate attire. While I saw some men who wore armors and capes, others wore tiaras. Likewise, while some women wore gown and tiaras, others wore pirate outfits with swords. The customs transcended gender, age, and culture. Everyone was accepted. Everyone became a part of the theme. Everyone was free to be themselves.

Basic Tips

It’s easy to pretend and express who we are by wearing costumes especially when everyone is doing it. But how can we do that in real life without playing a character? That’s easy. Here are some basic tips on how you can unleash your authenticity and become happier.

  1. Wear your favorite colors. Color is a powerful tool that effects our minds and bodies. Color psychology dates back to the ancient time of the Egyptians and Chinese.
  2. Notice how it makes you feel.
  3. Pay attention to your energy level.
  4. Note your confidence and productivity level that day.
  5. Be aware of how others approach you.
  6. Listen to how you talk and respond to others.
  7. Try this for 7 days and notice how much happier you feel by just allowing your inner self and authentic-self to shine through.

My Book

If you need more ideas and inspirations on how to express yourself, get my book, The Happiness Result. My book contains seven pillars that can help you lead a happier and more meaningful life. To learn more about it, visit www.TheHappinessResult.com .

Contentment and How to Have More of it in Your Life

Contentment and How to Have More of it in Your Life

By Debbie Lyn Toomey, RN

Author of The Happiness Result

I surprised myself one day. It was during a family vacation and I felt so connected to the scenery around me, the warm weather, and the people I was with. All of a sudden, I turned to my husband and said, “I’m content.” It’s not a word that I tend to use. To describe my feelings, I typically say, that I feel “great”, “awesome”, or “happy.”

I remember it well. It was two months ago during my family’s summer vacation with my husband and three boys. It’s been a tradition since our boys were school-age. And even though our oldest lives in an apartment and our middle is in college, they still look forward to our annual family get-away. I love seeing the excitement in their eyes when we start discussing details of our trips. This year our vacation destination was Montreal, Canada.

Our 6-hour drive was a breeze. We stopped for a country breakfast in New Hampshire and listened to a Harry Potter audio book the rest of the way. Montreal had changed since I was there last in high school. This time it seemed bigger and busier. We fell in love with Montreal right away because of the mixture of the new and the old buildings, the quaint little restaurants, and the majestic churches. It was a fantastic city to experience on foot. We delighted walking around the city.

Then one day it happened. My family and I were walking from one end of the city to the next and a sweet and warm feeling consumed me. Out of nowhere, I said to my husband that I felt content. At that very moment, it felt like all the stars were in alignment. The skies were blue, a gentle breeze was blowing and I was there in Montreal with my family. That moment has embedded itself deep into my heart and mind. 

What does contentment mean?

One of the definitions of content that I found in the Merriam Webster Dictionary is a feeling of being satisfied. That was exactly how I was feeling that day. Even though, I knew there were areas in my life that still need improving, there were bills to be paid, and I was getting older by the minute, my awareness of them did not cloud how blessed I felt in that very moment.

How is contentment different from happiness?

While both contentment and happiness have been used interchangeably, they are different. The biggest difference between these two feelings is that contentment is a delicious blend of appreciation, mindfulness, satisfaction, and connectedness. It is long lasting. Happiness on the other hand is a more dynamic state of being and is often short lasting.

Here’s how you can gain more contentment in your life for the next seven days.

  1. Stop and look around every chance you get.
  2. Notice what you have, what’s working well, and appreciate it.
  3. Look around at the people who make your life better.
  4. State your contentment to yourself or to another person.

In the next seven days, I invite you to slow down enough to savor all the goodness around you. When you do, you will find magical moments of contentment that can bring so much richness to your life.

If you need coaching on how to cultivate contentment into your life, contact me for coaching at info@HealthandHappinessSpecialist.com . Your goodness is waiting for you.

An Overlooked Fall Prevention Tip for the Aging Adults

An Overlooked Fall Prevention Tip for the Aging Adults

Debbie Lyn Toomey RN, CIPP

 Author of The Happiness Result

 

 

Do you remember the last time you fell and got up quickly?

While most people instinctively get up as soon as they fall, seniors are not so fortunate. Many aging people have a difficult time getting up after they have fallen because they are too weak or they’ve injured themselves.

It’s Staggering!

Falls are the leading cause of nonfatal and fatal unintentional injuries by people age 65 and up (CDC, 2016). According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention there were 27,000 seniors that died as the result of falling in 2014. Further, 1 in 4 elderly report that they have fallen. This number is staggering!

Changing Body

Our body is always changing. The population that is impacted the most are the elderly. As we age, we unfortunately get slower, more frail, and weaker making it more and more difficult “to do the things that we used to do.” For these reasons and many others, it’s no wonder that the elderly develop a fear of falling.

Fear of Falling

While the physical factors that I just mentioned may contribute to a senior’s fear of falling, there is also a mental factor. The belief that falling is inevitable. This powerful fear also contributes to falling. The more someone is afraid of falling, the less they want to move around. The less active they are, the more deconditioned they become. The weaker they are, the higher likelihood is that they will fall. In other words, the fear of falling becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy!

My Dad

My 83-year-old father got into the habit of walking with a cane. It happened as a result of needing an easy-to-use device to help him move around due to swelling of his legs. Soon enough, he became dependent on the cane and lost his confidence in walking without it. Even though, the swelling stopped and his leg condition improved, he still held on to that cane for fear that he might fall without it.

Ask the Doctor

During one of his doctor visits, I suggested that he ask his physician for a physical therapy consult so that he could strengthen his body and build endurance. After weeks of exercises with his physical therapist, my dad became stronger and steadier. He’s become more active and more confident about his ability to move around by himself without a cane. It worked!

 Physical Therapy

What’s a physical therapist? It’s a highly trained licensed health care professional whose job it is to “help patients reduce pain and improve or restore mobility”, according to the American Physical Therapy Association. Depending on your needs, a physical therapist may be able to work with you to a point that you may be able to reduce your pain medication needs or even avoid surgery all together.

 Overlooked

There are several fall prevention tips that are useful and practical. However, the one that is not often used is requesting one’s doctor for a physical therapy consult. I believe it’s an overlooked and underutilized specialty for prevention because it is usually associated with rehabilitation. It’s worth noting that physical therapy has an important place in fall prevention. It’s not to say that aging adults should not join a gym or an exercise group. Of course, they should. As long as they have the consent of their doctor.

Prevention Tip

If you know a senior who is afraid of falling, one of the best tips is to inform that person that he or she can ask their primary care physician for physical therapy. This request will notify their doctor of their concern and will make it a part of their routine evaluation every visit. If physical therapy is not indicated, then ask for information on an exercise program that can improve their condition.

National Awareness

The first day of the Fall season has been named Falls Prevention Day. This year, it is September 22, 2018 in order to bring increased awareness and education to the seriousness of falls for the aging population. To find out more about resources for the elderly, contact your local Council on Aging.

It’s good to note that while the elderly do fall, it doesn’t have to be a part of aging. There are many ways to prevent it from happening.

Contact Me

It’s never too late to set goals for yourself, no matter how old you are. If you need professional coaching on how to live a healthy and happy life, contact me at info@HealthandHappinessSpecialist.com.

One-Minute Mindfulness Techniques for the Busy Person

By Debbie Lyn Toomey, RN, CIPP
Author of The Happiness Result

Six year ago, I fell in love with mindfulness while studying Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR). I fell hard and I was never the same again. I learned how simple and forgiving this technique was for someone like me who was constantly juggling work/life balance. What is mindfulness? It is being in the present and experiencing that moment with all your senses. It’s also a way of becoming non-judgmentally intimate with yourself – the good, the bad, and the ugly. In a nut shell, it is a science, a practice, and a way of life. 

Mindfulness Experience

Since studying MBSR, I’ve studied other mindfulness specialties, such as, mindful education, mindful communication, mindful leadership, and mindful self-compassion. Over the course of six years I’ve created and facilitated mindfulness workshops for children and adults, keynoted on the topic, and even did research on it.

Imposter

Mindfulness has become a part of my personal and my professional life. But even though, I practice it all the time, I still get mindless! Sometimes it happens when I am trying to focus and concentrate on something important, like reading, writing, or even listening to someone. I feel like a mindfulness practitioner impostor. I should know better, right? Wrong!

Only Human

As it turns out, I’m not the only one. According to Jon Kabat-Zinn, who is considered “the father of mindfulness” the more we practice mindfulness, the more we notice how mindless we are. We are only human. It’s part of the human experience since we have about 70,000 thoughts going through our head every day. It’s no wonder we get distracted from time to time despite mindfulness. After all, that is why mindfulness is considered a practice. It’s a skill that we constantly need to work on so that we can get better and better at it. The more we do it, the stronger our mindfulness muscle becomes. The stronger it becomes, the sooner we can catch our mindlessness and get back on track to the task at hand.

Here’s How

Here are three one-minute mindfulness techniques for the busy person. If you are new to the practice, welcome! The exercises below are great for beginners. However, if you dabble with mindfulness and want to enhance your practice, the suggestions below are good for you as well. Set your timer and try one or more of the following activities today.

  1. Mindful breathing – Take a slow deep breath in through your nose and then out through your mouth. When you inhale, notice the coolness of the air as it enters your nostrils. Likewise, when you exhale, notice the warmth of your breath as it exits your mouth. Continue to monitor your breathing and be curious with it until the minute is over.
  2. Mindful listening – Either at your desk at work, in your car, or even in your home, close your eyes (not while driving of course!) and tune into the different sounds around you. Try to listen to as many as you can one after the other. Notice how your body responds to what it hears. If you hear a sound that is passing by, try to listen to the sound for as long as you can until it disappears, then choose another sound to focus on.
  3. Mindful eating – During one of your meals, take your time and eat slower than usual. To get the full experience of eating your food, examine each bite before you put it into your mouth. Look at its color, texture, and shape. Touch your food and notice the temperature of the food. Then, hold it close to your nose and smell it. Next, put the food into your mouth. Allow it to sit on your tongue until you can taste the flavors. Finally, notice how your tongue moves the food in your mouth to allow your teeth to chew it before you swallow it.

When you finish each technique, check in with yourself to see how you feel compared to when you started.

Take Care

I know you are busy but remember, there are 1440 minutes/day. What better way to take care of yourself during your busy day than to set aside a few minutes to exercise your mindful muscles. I suggest that you try all three. Then pick one that you want to commit to for one week. When the week is over, choose another one to do for the next week, and so on. If you get distracted during any of the exercises, don’t worry. It happens. Just get back on track. Remember, while distraction is a part of life, noticing when you are mindlessness, is part of the mindfulness practice.

Need Help?

If you have any long-term goals and keep getting stuck from doubt or the distractions in your busy life, contact me for coaching at info@HealthandHappinessSpecialist.com today. Your best life awaits. I know it and so do you.

Happiness and Workplace Bullying

Happiness and Workplace Bullying

Debbie Lyn Toomey, RN, CIPP
Author of The Happiness Result


Have you ever been bullied?

Whether your answer is yes or no, this article is worth the read because you or someone you know may find it useful.

People of all ages can fall prey to bullying. While we typically hear of incidents of bullying on school grounds, little is mentioned about bullying that occurs in the workplace. Since August is “Don’t be a Bully Month,” it’s the perfect time to bring more awareness around this insidious and silent issue.

Bullied

Workplace bullying is toxic. It creates an unhappy and unhealthy environment. Workplace bullying effects not only the victim, but also the witnesses, and eventually the organization. The closest incident that I have experienced of being bullied (lateral violence) was when a nursing colleague complained about me and challenged my nursing practice in front of other nurses. It came unexpectedly and it shook me to the core. I couldn’t focus on my work after that because I was consumed with feelings of anger, betrayal, disappointment, and so much more!

Unhappy

Needless to say, I was not happy due to the unprofessional treatment that had just occurred. I’ve never been treated like that before! I always strived to be kind, thoughtful, and helpful to everyone. I always went out of my way to support that nurse because she always complained about something unfortunate in her personal life.
What is workplace bullying?

Workplace bullying is any act of incivility, disrespect, and mistreatment to another at work. In its most severe form it can become violent. Damages from such unprofessional and inappropriate actions can cause psychological injury, physical injury, or death.


CDC

According to the CDC, professionals who are at most risk for fatal violence in the workplace are people in sales, protective services, and transportation. On the other hand, professionals in the health care and social services are at risk for nonfatal violence that results in sick days or leave of absences.

Workplace bullying is real and should not be normalized or dismissed by any employers.

Happiness

Here are some ways to help you rise above this negativity and reclaim your happiness at work.

• Breathe and regain your composure. If the bullying behavior is out of character for this person, you can give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe, he or she is going through a negative personal event.

• Talk to a close friend to get validation about the situation. Be sure to have allies where you work.

• Approach and talk to the person that caused you to be upset. Relay back to him or her what they did and share how it made you feel. Tell him or her that you will not tolerate that kind of behavior.

• If the person, repeats this behavior, be bold. Stand up for yourself. Know that your efforts will contribute to creating safe, supportive, and happy work environment.

• Talk with your manager or Employee Assistance Program department for assistance.


Speaking Up

As for me, what worked after being humiliated by a nursing colleague was to confront her face to face. After talking with my husband about how shocked and upset I was, I mustered up the courage and the words to explain to her what she did and how she made me feel. Further, I told her to never to treat me like that again. And it worked! After that moment, that nurse left me alone and became more courteous. I was so proud and happy with myself for speaking up!

It is important to avoid toxic and harmful behavior from escalating by speaking out and standing up for yourself. You should never feel that you have to be subjected to any sort to bullying from anyone. You have the right to be happy and feel supported at work so that you can perform your duties.

Need Help?

I hope you never have to experience workplace bullying, but if you do, never feel you have to put up with that kind of behavior. You have a choice to either take it or leave it. If you do decide to take it, be sure to give it back and stand your ground.

If you need coaching to gain more happiness in your life, contact me at info@healthandhappinessspecialist.com.