Goals and Growth Mindset

This is a wonderful year for me and family! This year my husband and I will be celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary and my two older boys are graduating– one from high school and the other from college and my youngest turned 10 years old. It’s a year filled with lots of cheer, celebrations, and changes!

Know what you want to win at.

I heard a great statement from my middle son’s graduation speaker that still rings in my ear. It was, “Know what you want to win at.” This made me reflect back to my own high school goals and dreams. I remembered how bold they were and how determined I was to make them happen. While I had many high hopes and aspirations, I was also realistic. I knew that I would never be a Parisian super model at my statuesque height of 5’4” or get to meet Richard Gere (the officer and a gentleman) and have him carry me off into the sunset or even become a Solid Gold dancer when I only danced at parties or weddings. I knew my limitations and accepted them but I also had a dream and a purpose of having a great life for myself.

We can have it all!

You see I wanted it all! Deep down I always believed that we can have it all – a healthy, happy, and successful life. We make the most of what we have and go for it.

Some of my goals were:

  1. To go nursing school without any student loans — In 1988 I graduated nursing school and had no school debts because of a full university scholarship I won.
  2. To meet and marry the man of my dreams — I met him at my first job working in my local sub shop. We soon became best friends, got married, and had 3 amazing boys!
  3. To have my own company that can inspire people to live the life of their dreams by being healthy and happy no matter where they are in life – I started my company Ultimate Healing Journey, LLC almost 4 years ago. It has brought me so many wonderful experiences and opportunites to deliver my health and happiness mission globally to men, women, and children.

Goals and Growth Mindset

I suppose at a young age I knew what I could win at and focused on what I wanted with passion and zeal until I got it. Although the process wasn’t easy all the time, it made me a stronger person and certainly a healthier and happier one along the way. My comfort zone got bigger and bigger as I stretched myself. This is what author and psychologist Carol Dweck would call having a growth mindset. She calls growth mindset the science of success.

goals and growth word cloud
Goals for Focusing

According to Positive Psychology expert Tal Ben Sha-Har, goals are important because they help us focus, become more resilient, help with our self-fulfilling prophecy, create our world from the words we speak and lastly become a natural step to us when we immerse ourselves in our thoughts, beliefs, and actions.

Goals are the means

Tal Ben Sha-Har emphasized how goals are the means while the present moments are the ends. What he meant by this is lasting happiness comes from what we do every step along our journey to our goals. And that our goals, while they do give us direction, are not the source of our lasting happiness.

How about you?

Do you know what you want to win at?  I suggest picking one goal today and determine when you want it and what you are willing to do to reach it.

Need help?

If you need coaching in ways to reach your goals, contact me at info@ultimatehealingjourney.com so we can work together to get you to your winning state of mind.

 

Balancing Your Work and Home Life: Achieving Higher Enlightenment

“Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.” Unknown

Life Work

If you suffer from stress, depression, anxiety, or even high blood pressure, then you will understand the importance of just being able to relax. Many people try to multi-task too much in their daily lives, thinking that they can achieve more by doing so. This simply isn’t the case, and multi-tasking often leads to errors which take even more time to correct. This makes us frustrated and angry, which is often taken out on family and friends. By taking the time to relax for just a few minutes, we realize that our lives don’t revolve around how many things we can do per day, and that by simply concentrating on one thing at once, we can achieve more than we ever thought possible.

Acting Out of Character

Stress can certainly make us act out of character, especially when you’re stressed because you can’t perform an action on time or at the same time as something else. Your child may interrupt you to ask a question, to which you shout in response. This creates a negative atmosphere for everyone.

Creating a Better Balance

If you want to create a better work-home balance, take a step back and analyze the things you need to do that day. For example, if you need to do the washing and take the kids to school, find a way that you can do both without necessarily multi-tasking.  Start off the washing machine before you go in the morning, and dry them when you get back from your commute. You will have time by yourself to do the washing properly and in good time, and you will also have time to relax between loads. You’ll be doing one thing at a time, but you’ll still get the same amount done per day. This can really make a difference to your life, and by not multi-taking, you’ll find that you won’t get as stressed, meaning that you can achieve more per day!

Can you think of some simple steps right now that you can do to create more balance in your life? Start with that first thing that you think of.

If can’t think of any right now, here are 3 tips to get you started. They are:

  1. Divide and conquer: Delegate the tasks that others can do for you. Remember that you are not alone. Decide on one or two tasks that others can do easily and does not require your immediate attention. According to the July 26, 2012 Harvard Business Review article written by Amy Gallo called “Why aren’t you delegating”, even though delegating tasks is an important skill for leaders and managers, not everyone is doing it—it is underutilized. While most feel they are too busy to ask, some are not trained to think and ask the right questions to ask for help.
  2. Go the distance: Deliberately go out of your way. Many people who are too busy during the day with work and life are way too busy to exercise. The best way to get in some physical activities is by going out of your way. Purposely park in the far end corner of the parking lot and walk or use the stairs instead of the elevators. According to an article called “Exercise and Stress. Get Moving to Manage Stress” by the Mayo Clinic, any form of physical activity can help reduce stress. This reduction is caused by the release of hormones called endorphins, the very hormone that gets released when runners experience the “runner’s high” when running.
  3. Distraction: Clear off your desk, your inbox, or even the noise around you. Distraction leads to wasted time trying to get back on task which can create more feelings of stress, overwhelm, and imbalance. According the June 22, 2008 New Times article, “Fighting a War Against Distraction,” it takes almost 20 minutes to get back on track after being distracted for just one minute.

Just know that it is very possible to add more balance in your life. If you need support and coaching on ways to gain more balance in your work-life,  I can help you! See my contact page for ways to reach me.